Will you protect your reputation or your intregrity?

Are you more protective of your reputation or the integrity of your character?

Lately I've been asking began asking myself, What typically gets in the way of my empathy for people with whom I strongly disagree or even dislike?

I tend to struggle with perspective, patience, or compassion in these interactions when I feel like my reputation is on the line. If I empathize with someone I disagree with, who I can clearly see is bound up in sin, am I enabling them by offering empathy? 

I've been meditating on and memorizing this passage these last few weeks and it has served as a clarifying reminder: 

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." (James 3:17-18) 

Wisdom begins with a reverent fear of God and His purposes. Empathy invites us into a deeper level of presence that is not judgmental or self-seeking, but open to reason and willing to yield. When my reputation becomes more important than the integrity of my character, I start anchoring my worth and value to external opinions and perceptions, rather than to the internal integrity of my heart.

Empathy re-aligns us to this message:  I want to hear the story underneath what you’re wrestling with. I want to understand why you’re so afraid before I offer perspective or insight. 

Here's the thing though, empathy is the starting point but not the whole process. Discipleship requires connection and challenge. How do we do this compassionately without coming in to fix everyone's problems? 

Jesus accomplished this through question asking. He was asked over 200 questions throughout the gospels of which he typically responded to with another question. 

Jesus didn't just tell people what to think — He taught them how to think. 

It requires great humility and openness to remain curious. We have to step down from our places of importance, to lay down our pride, and to practice the way of Jesus. He was committed to the call of His Father: to go into all the world, to live a perfect life, and to offer forgiveness, grace, mercy, and the presence of God to all people and all nations.

But Jesus' process was to first empathetically enter into the stories of tax collectors and adulteresses, the poor and the Gentiles so He could ask them questions. In doing so, He ruined His reputation with the religious leaders. He wasn’t respected by the powerful or the important. But those who encountered His presence and were challenged by His questions were left eternally changed and pointed toward truth.

This is why we’re leading a trauma-informed, biblical teaching night on November 5th—to help you expand on what you learned during our empathy training to take the next step in learning the art of question asking. 

We want to equip you to cultivate deeper connections with the people you love and lead, and to grow curious about what gets in the way of practicing empathy — especially when it feels costly to your reputation.

There's a story there. 

I hope you’ll come curious, open, ready to learn, and willing to practice in the relationships God has given you to steward.

In His love, 
Tori