The Gift of Being Exposed

I used to think exposure was something to be avoided. That being "caught" in my sin meant shame, embarrassment, and a reason to retreat or defend myself. But I’ve come to see that having our sin exposed—when done in love—is one of the greatest gifts we can receive.

A few years ago, I found myself in a disagreement with a leader. And instead of humbly bringing my concerns forward, asking questions, or gaining perspective. I prepared for a fight for what was right. I puffed up, stood my ground, and made it clear to the team I was working with why this decision my leader made was irresponsible.


In private conversations, I let my frustration spill over into gossip, subtly inviting others to share in my discontent and disunity.


On one hand, I did have valid concerns. But on the other hand, I wasn’t addressing them in a way that could truly be heard. I wasn’t seeking understanding or unity. I wasn’t walking in humility… and I definitely wasn’t being honoring.

Then my leader called me. And instead of the harsh rebuke I expected, she simply said:

"Hey, I have heard about your concerns you’ve been sharing with others about me, but you haven’t come to me about them. What’s going on?"


It's the mercy of God to be caught in love like this.

Through story work that year, God had already started to reveal a pattern in my life—how control and pride are the first places I go to avoid grief and fear. But instead of acknowledging that fear honestly and humbly, it felt better to justify myself. It fed my flesh to build a case, to tell others why I was right, why they were wrong, and what they should do to change.
 

When my leader called me, she didn’t come at me with judgment. She didn’t use her authority to shame me. She simply helped me see my own face. I wasn’t being manipulated. I was being corrected in love. And the only right response was humility.
 

Over the course of an hour, she listened. She validated my feelings—she didn’t dismiss my concerns. But she also pointed out where I was wrong. She held up a mirror, and instead of running from it, I stayed. And that moment of exposure, rather than leading to rejection...

It built trust, it created safety, and it shaped me into a better leader.
 

Hebrews 3:13 says, “...encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”  This doesn’t mean offering shallow affirmations or sugarcoating the truth. Real encouragement means kind exposure. It means loving someone enough to hold up a mirror. It means offering both honesty and presence.


Correction without love produces shame. Correction with love produces transformation.


The question is—when someone calls out something in you that you don’t want to see, how do you respond?

Do you retreat in shame? Do you puff up and try to prove yourself right? Or do you lean in, with humility, and allow that moment to shape you? 

If I hadn’t done the work of healing in my own story… I’m not sure I would have been able to respond in a way that actually brought transformation.

But the gift of healing—the gift of grieving the places where fear and pride have taken root—is that we become untethered from the lies we’ve believed. We stop reacting from old wounds. And we become open—to love, to comfort, and yes, even to correction.

So if you desire to be the kind of person who can expose with love—who can hold up a mirror without producing shame, but instead, invite others into healing—then you need to come to Freedom Academy.

With you in the journey, 

Tori
Freedom Coach & Director of Marketing & Strategy